Sweet and Sour Deception

I've been studying intensely for a test I have tomorrow. So in between freecell games and checking my email, I decided to take a break and get some healthy brain food. By healthy brain food, I mean sketchy Chinese. I am a Chinese takeout connoisseur. I measure all takeout by their sweet and sour chicken. Egg Roll Chen in Columbia makes a photo-finish here, with Twin Dragon of Sumter closely following. Tonight I decided to patronize Hopsings.

Let me give you a little background about this place. I first discovered Hopsings when leaving my local grocery story (related link 1, related link 2). Back then it was called the Ocean Palace but it was closed. Upon closer inspection, I found a note on their door that said the Ocean Palace was closed due to personal reasons. Personal reasons? I hope everything is ok with these restauranteurs. Seasons changed, and still no resolution to the problems which kept the Ocean Palace closed. Until one day last fall they emerged from their cocoon made of dumplings as the new-and-improved Hopsings.

So I go there tonight to get some food. I walk in and expect to just have a normal, everyday take-out experience. Nope! Not this time.. within seconds I notice that the entire restaurant staff is white, except for some type of MexiCali hybrid working one of the grills. Shit! The last thing I need before this test is some sub-par eggdrop. Should I just walk out? Would that be rude?

Before everyone gets PC on me, let me just say that Devvy D does not judge anyone's sweet and sour chicken by the color of their skin. I just have alot riding on tomorrow and I can't afford any emotional trauma from a take-out failure.

So I suck it up and walk to the counter.

'What'll you have?' said the cashier with a thicker Southern accent than mine.

Damnit to hell.. I could still just pretend I thought this was Fedex and walk out.

'I'll take dinner combo #7.'

After he takes my order, the guy answers a call-in order. And get this.. he starts slinging a Chinese accent. Ls were pronounced as Rs. What the Hell? What happened to the days of legit take-out? These Hopsingers are just bambloozing my fellow gluttons left and right.

I check the place out while waiting on my order. This cartoon from the menu pretty much sums it all up:


I also notice that they serve Chinese, Thai, and Japanese food. So maybe the guy manning the grill was actually some type of uber East-Asian chef? That's reassuring. Also, the Post and Courier rated them as the best Asian Takeout in 2005.

I finally get my food and make it home. Let me just say, it was delicious. Not quit ERC delicious, but good enough for tonight. So I guess I owe the cracker staff of Hopsings an apology.. yall are alright, even if you did forget my fortune cookie.