The Truth Shall Set You Free

So I appealed a $22 parking ticket at the university's office of parking management last week. I was parked in my spot, but I had forgotten to hang my tag. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to get this one dropped. When I got to the office, I was surprised to see 6 or 7 other people waiting for their chance to plead their case also. So I signed in and waited. And waited. I watched as each of these defendants were called into Conference Room 203.

I noticed that alot of people waiting had a nervous look to them. First of all, it's just a parking ticket. It's not like we're trying to score Celine Dion tickets. Second of all, it's a parking ticket. There's probably just some overworked, underpaid chick back there and as long as I maintain eye contact and talk in a deep voice this should be cake. Finally, it's my turn to enter the 'court room'..

"Close the door behind you. Take a seat here on the left," said the Napoleonic man at the end of the table.

(Two imperative sentences in a row. Balding. Glasses. Dammit! Switch to Plan B: Pretend to be apologetic and make this guy believe I think he's important.)

He reads over my ticket. "So what do you want?"

"Well, the ticket is accurate but I actually have a spot in that parking lot. It was raining and I was in a hurry, so consequently I forgot to take my hangtag out of my glovebox."

Before I finished saying 'consequently' he had slammed down the university's complete parking bylaws. "Why don't you do us both a favor and read rule 83B?"

(I don't really see why I need to read this outloud. You clearly know it, since you have it highlighted. Furthermore, some of those words are pretty big.)

So after throwing his weight around a little more, he finally looks up my parking id and sees my story checks out. "Since you don't have any prior offenses, I'm going to drop your fine. But I'm still going to find you guilty and if this ever happens again, I won't let it go. There are rules here. It's like you, you're training to be a doctor. So what if you forgot to place stitches after cutting someone up?"

Hahaha.. right.

He then took out my appeals form and filled it out. I noticed that he wrote "Quilty" next to the area designated for plea. Now I haven't consulted with the Summer of Dev legal staff,



but isn't the plea what the defendant declares?

Also, why would I admit to having properties of a quilt?

Oh well, I guess it all worked out as I expected. I'm still the man.

I got a speeding ticket the next day for going 36 mph in a 25. I almost spontaneously combusted with anger.