penny: once upon a time...

...in the town of orlando, there lived a young lad named nutso. now some of yall may rememeber bit and pieces of our excursions to middle florida, including 'the bare winch project', nutso's crazy hot sister, new years on church street, and of course 'the bare winch project', but i ask who remembers the humanitarian bowl from the 2000 season. yes, we all sat around bitching about getting the only ugly hooters waitress as we forced down the worst wings in town....all while watching clemson v. la la tech unfold on the blue tundra of boise state. that game found the tigers favored by 4ish, and they won by something like 25. and so we find ourselves several years later, with the tigers a 33 point favorite. forget that tech hung in with the aggies for a half, and forget statistics, tech cant stop the run. period. as much as i cant stand james davis he's going to have some HUGE numbers by the time this one is over (and may start gaining fans on the way to heisman voting). clemson covers

Part Three

Man, you guys are obsessed with college football. Put down the stats for a second. Stop obsessing about every prognostication the ESPN Gameday crew gives. Here's a little secret- practice reports tell very little about an upcoming game. So kick back and enjoy a story from a life less ordinary.

I know I told yall the story about the bottle of wine. I told yall about the sequel too. Well it turns out that this storyline is a trilogy.. who knows, it may even become a TV series.

So I was buying some beer the other day and went through the normal routine of waiting in the checkout line. I read the tabloid headlines. I judged the people in front of me based upon their grocery purchases. And that's when I began the final step of my grocery line protocol: I began perusing the impulse items. There, nestled amidst the batteries and Snickers bars, was a bottle of Fat Bastard. Sold!

The bottle gathered dust over the weeks. Days began and nights concluded and there it sat. Until one day after a buffoonery-laden weekend capped off with fajitas- the bottle made its move. So we get back to my place.

'What do you want to do?'

'I don't know. Whatever.' Of course you don't know. Why should you know what you want to do? I assume I should know what you want to do. Well let me give you a little hint about us- I could probably read Mesopotamian cuneiform on crumbling papyrus before I could ever read you. Want to know what I want to do? No. You don't. Wanna know why? Because all I want to do is strip down, eat a block of cheese, and watch cartoons.

'How about you go pick out a movie while I go open a bottle of wine?'

So I enter the kitchen and begin what will become an epic battle with the Fat Bastard. After about 2 minutes of working with the bottle, the corkscrew breaks. #@$*!

Did that really just happen? I'm gonna guess the bottlers used an oversized cork on this one. Maybe the atmospheric pressure is off. No big deal.. I'll just wedge it out with some scissors.

(self-explanatory)

'What's Suicide Kings about?'

'Great choice hun! It has Christopher Walken in his prime and is one my favorites. Keep looking though, there are plenty of choices.' That should buy me some time.

It broke my corkscrew and my scissors. Let's see how it fares against the screwdriver and vice grips. So during this 15 minute battle I must have used a bit too much force which then broke part of the bottle and subsequently cut my thumb. Odd. This scenario sounds familiar. I just can't place it. Screw it. I'll hammer this knife through the cork. That should relieve the pressure like draining an abscess.. in theory. Unfortunately, all it led to was wine spraying me in the face. No big deal, that will just have to be my Red Badge of Courage then. So I take the vice and tug on the cork and it doesn't budge one bit (except that some of the broken glass that wasn't embedded in my thumb sank to the bottom of the bottle).

'Is everything ok?'

'What? Oh. Yep, everything's good. Just doing some cleaning.. want a beer? I'll be done in a second.'

Time to step into the arsenal garage. Well hello there Mr. Power Drill. So I drill into the cork. I loosen the periphery. I even find the broken piece of the corkscrew in it. After about 20 minutes of fighting, I take a break to rest. That's when I noticed how quiet it was. She had fallen asleep. I guess this way I won't have to concede defeat. So I took a seat and watched my cartoons.

Week 5

The games for Week 5 have been uploaded. Please note that a key sucker bet matchup is Thursday, September 28th.



Congratulations to SoD writer Penny and Sod reader Matt D for leading the pack last week with 7 correct picks. The average for all challengers was an even 4.0. Good luck.. there's alot of football to be played.

penny:bc v. nc state

i mean cmon chuck, losing back to back games against akron and southern miss? in an attempt to stop the bleeding amato will start a new quarterback this week, daniel evans, as the wolfpack head into their acc opener. evans did well in relief against brett fava, favara, favre's alma mater, but cmon, we could field a summerofdev team that could light up a conference usa prevent defense.
on the other side of the ball, bc comes in after back-to-back double overtime wins against clemson and the mormons. they sport an airbourne attack led by matt ryan and are averaging 31.7 points per game. the eagles are 29-0 since 2000 when they score over 30. you do the math. eagles easily cover the spread...course this is coming from a guy who only hit 4 games last week. on a side note, i encourage everyone to start looking over sweetheart's shoulder as she's filling out her picks

Upon Further Review

So I made the trip to Florida State's Bobby Bowden field at Doak Campbell Stadium this past weekend. Parts of the campus lived up to its reputation, although other aspects were severely lacking.

Impressive:
1. Doak Campbell Stadium- The stadium's appearance is amazing. It's the largest red brick structure in Florida and the rest of the buildings on that campus follow the same theme. There aren't levels to the seating which allows people from the very top row to travel all the way to the bottom. The grounds surrounding the stadium are littered with monuments and sculptures. I wouldn't rank their stadium high on the fear factor though.



2. The Food- Tallahassee has some authentic grease pits. Leaving a bar Friday night, we ended up at Guthries. I had a Gutbox which was basically a Zaxby's meal.. but at 3 AM! I didn't get to finish it though because my coleslaw went airborn through the restaurant. Another late night eatery was Super Perros, which is a Colombian restaurant. I had their Mix Burger which is basically a hamburger patty on top of bbq and all of it is smothered in mozzarella cheese. Oh, and it comes with tater tots.


Unimpressive:
1. Northern Florida- Northern Florida = Southern Georgia = all of Alabama.
We had to take a pitstop on the way down to pick up some more refreshments. So we stop at this gas station and as soon as we walk in there's a huge display of shotgun shells. Following it is a display which housed the entire Mossy Oak catalog. I thought the GreaserYanks(tm) had overtaken Florida.

2. Florida State's Secondary- FSU's secondary is a travesty to its defense. Their front seven are probably the best in the nation. Buster Davis should be in the NFL. The secondary had such terrible coverage that a LouHoltzCoachedTeam(tm) could complete passes against. This defense as a whole, though, will be the only reason that the Seminoles will be able to compete with quality opponents. Luckily for them, they don't play a quality opponent until the Gators come to town.

Indifferent:
1. The Chicks- I was told I would never see as many hot, trashy girls in one place as the ones in Tallahassee. That wasn't a lie. The bar we hit up the first night was kind of dead. It was fun riling up the FSU fans with Clemson cheers. It was fun heckling the Clemson fans with the Warchant. Then it was fun confusing everyone with the occasional 'Steve Spurrier's the man!' Anyway.. back to the chicks. Potbelly's is the place to be though. This bar had a good bit of chickies in it, but they all had this kind of 'sticky' look to them.

2. The Tailgate- The Seminoles have a long way to go in the football tailgatin' business. The liquor stores were empty at 9 AM. The town didn't start to show signs of life until about 1, which is when we needed to reload on bloody mary mixes. I think the downside to an extremely on-campus stadium is a lack of focus for the pregame.

...picture update!

Week 4

Here are the games for Week 4. Please note that Georgia Tech plays Virginia on Thursday, September 21st. So take a guess as to when your picks need to be submitted.


The scoreboard has been updated. Congrats to Southern Sweetheart and Will for earning top scores of 7 picks. For everyone else, don't be too bummed- the average for all contestants was 4.57 for Week 3.

Crummy: Michigan at Notre Dame

It's no secret that the #11 Team Up North hates #2 Notre Dame and vice versa. These two teams essentially recruit the same area and the Wolverines actually taught the game of football to Irish. This weekend will make the teacher into the student as the South Bendies will come out on top over the poor Ann Arborites.
Both teams have some big dogs in the fight. Again, Brady will be giving the ball to Darius and throwing to Jeff. Last week appeared to show that the Irish are talented offensively after they put up 41 on Linebacker U. We all know that the maize and blue is always a solid team on both sides of the football and they have plenty of offensive experience behind QB #7 and RB #20. Up to this point they have gone up against pretty weak opponents in Vanderbilt and Central Michigan and are relatively unproven this year. The Irish were tested in Week #1 by GT and then came out firing against a supposedly revived Penn State. This game will be played in the trenches like it always is, but Notre Dame will be the "Victors."

On a side note - "Muck Fichigan!"

penny: miami v louisville

well, im going to have to stick by prediction here and say miami walks away with a victory. dont think miami isnt ready for this game...a wide open coastal division, in which only virginia tech has a winning conference record, still holds a road for miami to make it to the acc title game. miami has never lost to louisville, going 9-0-1 in the series history. yeah yeah, the cardinals have the number one rated scoring offense in the country right now. guess what...all those obscene numbers came at the expense of temple and kentucky. this week they face the 7th ranked defense in the country, one that held florida state to 1 yard rushing their first game of the season. watch for brandon merriweather to have a big game and make the crucial pick in the second half that quiets the crowd and insures miami's big road win.

LSU at Auburn (-3.5)

Two top-ten SEC teams matchup at Jordan-Hare Stadium this weekend as the (#6) LSU Tigers challenge the (#3) Auburn Tigers. Looking back at the game through this millenia, it seems that the home team has won each time. For the past two years, the game has been won by an average of two points. But in 2002, Auburn took it to LSU 31-7 only to have LSU win by that exact score the following year. So which type of game will this be: a defensive battle or a landslide victory?


On the offensive side of the ball, the game will be pitting two of the best SEC quarterbacks against each other in JaMarcus Russell and Brandon Cox. I'll consider this a wash, but the Auburn offense as a whole is stronger and that will show against the younger LSU defense. The Plainsmen have four seniors on their offensive line and uber-talented Kenny Irons waiting to run for the Heisman behind them.

Who wins? Auburn.
Do they cover the insane early spread of -3.5? Nope.

Auburn will be heading to the SEC championship game regardless of the outcome of this game though. LSU travels to Florida and Tennessee, while Auburn gets Florida and Georgia at home. They do have to travel to South Carolina though, but that's just so Kenny Irons can grab a pair of cleats he left at Williams Brice.

You want it? You got it!

The frame doesn't change because of the tie. We'll institute a new score tiebreaker starting next week to take care of that. But here are some props to Joey C in the meantime..

Week 3

Here are the games for Week 3 of the contest.


The scoreboard link to the right has been updated for the results of Week 2. Please note that since Boston College (-1) vs. Clemson came out to a tie, I counted either pick. That helped inflate our terrible predictions. I'd like to congratulate the 3 winners of Week 2 coming in at 8/10:
SoD Reader Joey C.
SoD Reader JR
SoD Reader Kelly

Perspective

Where were you?

Duke at Wake Forest (-18.5)

Sorry if this post is weak, but so is the game.

I don't care how well this kid can shoot: Wake wins by 20.

penny: ive got a fever. the only cure? MORE COWBELL!!

in the time i can remember watching college football, its hard to think back and name a bad auburn running back off of the top of my head. lets see...we have bo jackson, steven davis, rudi johnson, heath evans, ronnie brown, cadillac, and now heisman candidate kenny irons. you all remember kenny, he got benched by lou for dropping a screen pass and fell down the depth chart behind demetrius summers (last i heard was may when he was working on the cowboys rookie squad. any updates?). so now we watch our former recruit (who herschel walker has said is better than he ever was) lead the tigers along with a strong quarterback in brandon cox against a team who, well...you all watched the game last week.
quick update...micheal henig is out 6 to 8 weeks after we broke his collar bone last thursday....booyah. that means the same fumbling, unexperienced redhirt freshman tray rutland will take the snaps, with the teams primary wide-out serving as the back-up QB. sound like a 0-2 start for sylvester croom? the sad thing here is that he's really not a bad coach, coming in to take over this program after NCAA recruiting violations and with the caliber players he inhereted he hasnt done ALL that bad. but starting your season 0-2, in conference, when youre already on the hot seat doesnt bode well for croom. id say the one bright spot on this team is their defense, which aside from giving up a trick play to us looked pretty solid. quintin culberson impressed the hell out of me, seemed like he was in on every play in the game.
short story long, auburn wins this game. im sure they win big too, easily covering the spread and keeping the cowbelling to a minimum

Carolina vs. Georgia

Penny:
and here we sit, the second game of the season...and that means its time for david pollock nightmare-flashbacks, quincy carter heisman dreams ending, and the return of flea-bitten mongrels named uga. on one hand im stoked that fred gibson is on the dolphins practice squad, but theres still that deep seeded hatred for his alma mater. we all hate georgia. plain and simple. and we always play them well (minus our athens road trip in 2003. jay got jumped, my truck almost blew up on i-i95, and lj lost our dog) but rarely come out ahead. it all changes this year. if you HONESTLY think the ole' ball coach came out firing vs. miss state youre crazy...the offense will open up this saturday night. add to that we have actually faced a real defense (unlike opening up against western kentucky) and blake should be ready to rock. we threw to sidney sparingly last thursday, expect him to make himself known as we roll mark richt right out of willy-b

Bill:
UGA's D vs. Carolina's O: For Carolina to have any success this week, the O-line must improve greatly on their effort from last week. Simply put, Carolina will not have a chance to win if the line doesn't give the running backs room to run and Blake time to pass. Georgia has a tough defensive line, headlined by all-everything Quinton Moses, but it will not be much better than the Mississippi St. line. Therefore, it is up to Carolina to play better on the line which will in turn create more scoring opportunities for the offense.

UGA's O vs. Carolina's D: UGA Coach Mark Richt said today that two quarterbacks will play Saturday. While he did not go so far as to say which two, it is a certainty that whoever is under center will be taking his first snaps in an opposing stadium. Further, last week's starter, Joe Tereshinski was unimpressive against a weak Western Kentucky team, completing 7 of 17 passes for a paltry 90 yards. True freshman Matt Stafford played sparingly and will almost certainly have the "deer in the headlights" look when he steps onto the field Saturday. If Carolina can put some pressure on the quarterback, the UGA quarterback (whoever he is) will be pressured into mistakes. The way UGA can counteract this inexperience at QB, however, is by a strong running game, and the Dawgs have the horses in the backfield to do it. Therefore, it is imperative that Carolina stuff the run early on and force UGA into passing situations.

The Call: Carolina 17, UGA 14

Dev:
I was nervous all week but I'm puttin' on the garnet shades. All I'm saying is Cocks by 3.

Ohio State at Texas

The ESPN College Gameday Game of the Week.

The most anticipated matchup of the early college football season pits the defending National Champion #2 Texas Longhorns at home in Austin against the #1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes. Neither team has ever lost a #1 vs. #2 matchup. The second part of this home-and-home series is sure to be a slugfest.

This game is almost impossible to call. Both teams have clearly lost big playmakers from a year ago. Most notably Mr. Vincent Young and Mr. AJ Hawk. However, the Buckeyes are returning two genuine Heisman candidates at QB (Troy Smith) and WR (Ted Ginn Jr.) as well as an arsenal of other offensive weapons.

OSU Brain Trust
*source: www.dispatch.com
The Longhorns are no slouches and definitively squared away their #2 ranking following the big win over North Texas in which they conceded only a single score. The new QB in Austin is a redshirt freshman name Colt McCoy who is deemed to have shaken off any jitters he may have had as a starter by putting up 178 yards with 3 TDs passing and adding a rushing TD. The weapons appear to still be there for Texas as well.

The biggest questions for both teams will be defense. OSU lost 9 starters from last year. The talk around Columbus has been that the defense is still stacked, but last week they gave up 171 yards rushing to Garrett Wolfe of Northern Illinois. To show my bias and that of the Columbus papers, this was the result of a fresh crop of young defensive players being moved in and out of the lineup to get them some snaps.

If Texas wants to win this game the defense is going to have to stop Ted Ginn Jr. The secondary suffered a blow this week when the shut-down CB Tarell Brown was suspended from the game after an arrest for possession of mary-jane and a handgun he was holding in his lap. Will they stop the fastest man in the NCAA?

I say throw out the spread in this game and pick the winner: O-H-I-O.

Week 2

Here are the games for Week 2 of the contest. Same deal as before, make your pics and email it to summerofdev@gmail.com by Wednesday.



The current standings after Week 1 can be found at the scoreboard link on the right.

Chili Recipe (#1)

Dev's Bowtie Chili:

-Ingredients-
2 lbs ground beef
2 (5 oz) cans of tomato paste
2 (10 oz) cans of kidney beans
20 grams of crushed red pepper
2 (20 oz) cans of tomatoes
1 can Extra Hot Rotell
1 can of sliced jalapenos
3 oz of Tabasco sauce
chili powder
1 box of Bowtie pasta

-Directions-
Put kidney beans, tomato paste, and tomatoes into the crockpot. Lightly brown the ground beef and then add it to the pot. Add the Rotell, jalapenos, red pepper, and tabasco sauce. Cook on high for two hours and stir occasionaly. Cook on low for the remaining 4 hours. Semicook the bowtie paste in a pot for 6 minutes and then add to the crockpot. Stir. Makes 6 quarts.

Feelin' cock-diesel? Proudly inform all your guests that you'll be eating a bowl everytime Carolina scores.