The New Postal Service

I think the government should assign everyone a mailing number when you are born. You get this number, then head over to your local USPS office and tell them where to send your mail. This way you could just go around and quickly give your number instead of having to spell out 3 lines worth of an address.

So when the high school kids come around to sell subscriptions to Playboy or Playboy-esque Maxim, all you have to do is say 'sure thing, just send them to 9835-3463-5774-0101 (which may or may not coincidentally be wty's newest Visa number).'

This could even further idiot-proof the mail system. You grab an envelope, write down the number for its receiver, the USPS scans the number and automatically knows where to send it. Here's a situation where it would help: occasionally I get some mailer that is intended for a Mrs. Sanders. The address is right, but the woman doesn't live here. So either the (possibly) senile Mrs. Sanders forgot her mailing addy when signing up for junk mail, or she's trying to pull some scam. Either way, it means I have to write 'does not live here' on the envelope, walk out to the damn mailbox, raise that damn flag, and walk back to my place without accidentally falling into unwanted neighborly small talk. The whole process reminds me of a certain Jason's Deli fiasco.

I'm sure my camouflage-clad readers are in their bomb-shelters thinking that this would make it too easy for the gov'ment to track our mail. My only response to that is go read the Patriot Act and you'll understand that civil liberties aren't in style anymore.

Anyway, here's the best feature of the mailing number: You can seamlessly change mailing addresses. Just go to the USPS and tell them that all mail for 9835-3463-5774-0101 should be sent to whatever your new addy is.

But wait, there's more! Let's take it up a notch.. eventually this could lead to the ability of blocking junk mail. 'Hi, my mailing number is 9835-3463-5774-0101. Could you please block all mail from Williams Sonoma's and my congressman's mailing numbers? Thanks.'

Think it's a good idea? See something blatantly stupid? Man up and brainstorm in the comments section.

Pics from this weekend will be up later this week.