The Dart

I was playing darts last night and decided to take it up a notch. I guess I was showing off a little, but I wanted to give the crowd a show. First, I threw a 10. Then I threw a six. And then..


Here's a closer look..


Click on either picture to view an album of The Dart. After accomplishing this feat, I've decided to retire from darts for the rest of the year.

Want that chilled?

Here's a pic to sum up a not-so-average Monday during the SoD2. Eccentricity is part of the third year curriculum.

(Click on the picture to enlarge.)

Pay it Forward

I fell asleep on the couch around midnight one night last week while watching a movie. I woke up around 1:00 when one of my roommates came home from his restaurant job. I was kinda out of it, but I remember him telling me that he cut himself while cleaning up a glass orb that goes around a candle. Remembering a certain slasher story of my own and how friends hung out with me in the emergency room for 7 hours, I offered to drive him to the hospital to get a few stitches placed. I didn't have any patients scheduled for the next day so I told him I wouldn't mind at all. I figured it could make a good story, he would owe me one, and I could possibly run into some of my favorite nurses. Of course he declined the offer.. that's human nature.

I'm gonna get sidetracked for a second, but I'll explain that last statement. I've always noticed that people can be so quick to automatically decline something that's offered to them, but if given the opportunity to take the same item.. people almost always will. Got beef with that? The next time you're making small talk during lunch offer your companion some of your meal (fries would be ideal). They'll decline. Then, go to the restroom and when you come back make note of anything missing from your plate. It's like clockwork. Anywho..

So the next day I get home from my rigorous 50 minute lecture and resume my life on the couch. It's 10 AM. I have 2 pounds of taco bell. Suicide Kings is in the dvd player. Life.. is.. good. Then I hear my roommate yelling for me to come upstairs.

'I'm sleeping.. come down here.'

'I can't.'

That's when I realized it was concerning his recent trauma. So I go upstairs to see his finger still gushing blood. Emergency! Oh no, what should I do? Call for mayday? Order a Prothrombin Time from the lab? Say 'I told you so?' Realize that the combination of running water on that wound and him watching his finger gush blood will probably make him faint any second now?

I went with the 'I told you so' but then offered another trip to the doctor for some stitches.. this time he accepted. As I spent my relaxed Friday afternoon in an doctor's office, I noticed how similar our materials and methods are.

..3.0 chromic gut suture, 1% xylocaine, and a 'script for some cephalosporins..

Anyway, it was an interesting adventure that refilled some good karma and allowed me to pay forward an old debt.

penny: gator bait

some of you privileged readers have had the chance to see me in a bourbon induced rage. lately im happy to say that ive gotten control of my temper and only fight the occasional case of road rage. but i cant help but get pissed at check out lines.
i got carded today at walmart for buying grease. plain white grease. can someone help me out here? is there some kind of drug with grease in it? and since when do i have to be 18 to buy it? and with a full beard do i really LOOK under 18?
yesterday at publix i picked up a 12 pack and a sub and placed my two items on the conveyor belt three feet behind the last item of the lady in front of me. the cashier stopped scanning and made a point of putting a divider behind the ladies stuff. then he looks at me and rolls his eyes for not putting it there myself. did i not leave enough of a visual clue to show what was mine?
is there checkout etiquette im not aware of?
a little help from the readers please.

bar tip of the week...want to be noticed at a bar? a guy last night brought a two year old alligator into the bar. i didnt know that they only grow a foot a year, so at 2 feet from snout to tail it was on the cute side. weve had celebrities in our bar from arturo gatti to the swedish bikini team, and ive honestly never seen someone get so much attention. well as much as the swedes anyways.

Crummy: Quick Trivia

As a sort of follow up to a post on another blog, I have two quick trivia questions to ask.

First, Auburn is mistakenly credited with having three team nicknames, two of which are the "Tigers" and the "War Eagles" (the latter is the mistaken nickname), what is the third nickname?

Second, on his overrated and complete waste of a television show, Jeff Foxworthy had two sons who were played by relatively famous child actors. Name those actors.

Movies: Pirates of the Caribbean, et alii

I caught Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest this past Sunday and let me tell ya, I thoroughly enjoyed catching up on some sleep during it. This 150 minute sequel to the Legend of the Black Pearl fell to the Curse of the Sequel. Too much time was wasted incorporating old characters. The plot was complicated. Keira was extensively clothed. It wasn't nearly as action-packed as the first part of this trilogy. Johnny Depp gave another great performance as Captain Jack Sparrow, but unfortunately he couldn't overcome the sluggish story. At one point I almost decided to walk around the theater in hopes to catch the end of an Owen Wilson "comedy." Racking up $135 million, Dead Man's Chest did break the opening weekend box office record though.

One big plus for Pirates is that this trailer previewed before it. It leaves you wanting alot more, but if that teaser doesn't get you fired up then I feel sorry for your childhood.

X-men: The Last Stand was a flop to me also. But I'll save it from a lashing since the former director of that trilogy, Bryan Singer, decided to leave the movie right before filming in order to bring us the latest Superman movie, which I'm scheduled to catch later this week in a 3D IMAX experience.

Crummy: World Cup Finale

Hopefully most of you were able to catch the finale of the World Cup (otherwise known to the rest of the world as the "World's Greatest Sporting Event"), an uninspired 1-1 tie ending in a penalty kick shoot out crowning Italy champion. I have just a few comments to make about the entirety of the Cup and show a little clip of the most energy displayed by an individual in any of the games.

First, this Cup, among others in recent history, featured an extensive amount diving (see Vlade Divac) or acting. I have been extremely disappointed by the characteristic show of unsportsmanlike behavior by the world's greatest footballers (soccer players for us). One particular rising star, 21-year-old Christiano Ronaldo of Portugal, essentially gave up the award given to the Cup's Best Young Player because he couldn't help himself and dove so many times in the game against France that he was booed every time he touched the ball. FIFA needs to do something to stop this embarrassing spectacle occurring on soccer's biggest stage, not to mention everywhere else. Note: The MLS has little to no problem with diving.

Second, WHERE WERE THE GOALS? It may just be my American perspective, but I think that soccer needs more goals. This Cup gave the Golden Boot (award for highest goal scorer) to Miroslav Klose of Germany who scored only 5 goals in 8 games (which lets him join the ranks of the lowest winners with only 5 goals from 1950 and before, c'mon, they didn't play nearly 8 games back then). While this was apparently a great feat considering the low goal totals overall, I hardly think that is a good enough show. At least they didn't give the Golden Ball (award for MVP of the Cup) to a defender like the ABC commentators wanted.

Third, Marcelo Balboa sucks! Apparently a hired hand to do some bonus work for the World Cup and a US National Team hall-of-famer, can hardly tell when a good play has been made on the field from a good acting job. He made one comment that I despised when talking about Wayne Rooney of England. Rooney was in the box attacking goal when a defender slid in on him and he made a move to play the ball that he thought he could get instead of falling. Balboa says, "When he matures a bit more as a player, he will fall down in that situation [aka take a dive]." I'm disappointed.

Fourth, the greatest show of energy from a player in the Cup came when Zinedine Zidane of France (affectionately nicknamed "Zizou") decided to head-butt another player who had made some kind of grave comment to him. Personally, I'm guessing that he must have said something about his mom. Sometime this week we will be told what exactly electrified Zizou. Oh yeah, not only does Zizou have one of the coolest names of all time but he is also the captain of the French team and a three time World Footballer of the Year. One last thing, Zizou got the Golden Ball award in this Cup. Check out the video of Zizou's Head-Butt. It's in French because I thought it was funnier.

Lastly, there are rumors that sometime in the near future that MLS teams will be the home for players like Beckham and Ronaldo. We'll have to see what happens.

All we got is toast

"Last call," they yelled.

"I'm hungry," he said.

"The cook never showed up, so I'll try to cook for yall," she said.

"What's it take to get some fondue around here?" I asked.

"...," the lowcuts answered.

"Let's roll," we agreed.

"The back booth at stop #2 looks good," I thought.

His elbow, the strange woman licked.

"Want to see my p _ _ _ _?" the strange woman asked.

"Let's roll," we agreed. again.

"Drive up to the first window," the intercom mumbled.

"This wait is ridiculous," we thought.

"The fourth time's the charm," we hoped.

"Are these stools taken?" I asked the familiar lowcuts.

"Want some of our toast?" they asked.

"Welp, see ya later," we said.

"Let's watch a movie," I said.

"I hope they eventually made it to White Castle," I thought while driving to class after one long blink.