That Mischievous Bob

This bit of news will make you go cross-eyed. I'm gonna type extra slow to make sure any Clemson grads that are reading this can follow along with me. So anyways, I got caught up watching the news last night due to the fact that I've misplaced my remote. I kept dozing off until I heard about this story. Superficially, it's about a group of people that have been protesting at funerals of soldiers that have fallen in Iraq.

But let's delve a little deeper..

These protestors aren't making a fuss about the war.. they're protesting at the funerals of soldiers that died in combat because they feel that God is punishing America. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas feel that God is so outraged at the prevalence of gays in America that he is killing our soldiers in the conflict in Iraq.

Let's review this one more time: some ultra-conservative bible-thumpers are protesting at the funerals of soldiers that fought in a overwhelmingly conservatively-supported war because there are liberal queers in our country.



Thanks Wayne, but that won't be necessary. That's because groups of bikers have formed the Patriot Guard, whose sole mission is to preserve the sanctity of these funerals. Take a look at their site.. these riders are very well organized. I would probably join them if I had a Harley, leather clothing, and some free time. I disagree with the Patriot Guard's nonviolent philosophy though.

Let me get on that soapbox over there for a second. This is a classic example of why religions will always fall short of their goals: they can't account for the human factor. I'm willing to bet that the folks at Westboro Baptist Church know the difference between right and wrong. I'm pretty sure they know to give respect during a funeral.. I bet they even hold the door open for elderly people. But then they became religious and lost normal human decency. They take their own personal opinions and then manifest them into some type of bizarre act, all the while feeling like they are acting under the blanket of being holy.

It's kinda like when you were five years old and you had an imaginary friend. Your parents leave you alone for a minute, and when they come back you've written all over the walls in crayon.

Parent: Why the hell did you do that?
kid: I wasn't going to, but then my invisible friend Bob told me to.
Parent (ideally): Ah, I gotcha.. well I'm gonna spank you for awhile and I want you to pass that message to Bob the next time he comes around.

Other examples:
'I normally don't like to fly, but I feel Bob wants me to be suicidal.'

or..

'I don't want to shoot that doctor or teenage girl, but Bob sure does hate abortion.'