Nocturnal Pork Products
Never
ever
begin a 5 hour glazed ham project at 7 PM, especially after getting minimal sleep for the past 120 hours. Don't feel sorry for me.. the insomnia wasn't from anything school related. I've just been getting some other randomness in during the final stages of the SoD2.
Since the oven timer was set for 5 hours, I figured I could get a quick nap. Sometime during my dream where I was staring into a terrarium while that Shakira song seemed to be on repeat, I woke up.
'Man, that was a nightmare. What day is it? Why is the living room light on? Why is the tv on? 3:30? OH NO, THE HAM!!!!!!!!!!'
Anyway, now it's 4:00 AM and I can't sleep (see picture above). Breakfast's ready!
posted by Dev @ 3:42 AM
13 comments
13 Comments:
I've had some experience with passing out while cooking, so I feel for you Dev. (Sorry, Ritch)
NICE...I like!
Crummy should represent Claret , he is going to jail for a long time.
i remember freshman year when my gay ra passed out while he was baking a quiche, igniting the kitchen in the dorm. the firemen evacuated everybody in the building EXCEPT the blind kid. course, if theres one person who could find their way out in the dark....
save me some....please?
Dumbass Clarett is likely to go down hard this time. How can one stupid ass get into so much trouble? You know, if you are a former star of the Ohio State Buckeye football team which automatically makes you famous statewide as well as easily recognizable by everyone in the state, you cannot go around committing crimes.
As for me representing him, it is pretty likely because he is going to be looking for counsel because there aren't any licensed attorneys that can afford to work for nearly nothing.
I hope you whipped up some eggs and toast to go with breakfast. As for Clarett, come on, he only had 4 loaded guns and was wearing a flak jacket. Aren't they all standard ex-NFL issued?
Good point cool cat, but the disturbing thing wasn't the guns or the vests. It was the children’s songs sung by convicts, made and distributed by the state of Ohio correction institutes. Don’t forget the Grey Goose Vodka he was sipping on as well. What a good night, cruising around in with my vest on half smashed waiting to have a shoot out with the cops. He was cut by the Bronco’s last year for drinking Grey Goose in the weight room while lifting. Somebody give this guy a reality show.
Dev,
It sounds like Clarett’s operation Mongoose went terribly wrong
Operation Mongoose... now there's something I regret not doing. Maybe this football season yall can get some marbles and we can finally go alligator huntin' in the sewers..
Upon further review, I have come to find out that part of the car chase involving the moronic Clarett went directly in front of my house before heading onto the highway. We heard many police cars drive by at some point the other night but had no idea.
I would really like to know exactly what Clarett was about to do. I'm guessing either robbing the local Tee-Jays Country Place for somewhere under $500 or some poor friend of his was gonna get lit up.
An enlightened sole told me last night, "Sugar to shit in 3.8 seconds."
Sounds like Advice man has finally fallen off the rocker, You know Dev cooked that Ham, you just ate it. Dev called me and told me he was cooking a ham, he said you were passed out.
I make smell!
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