My Hot Sauce is an honor student at Taco Middle School.

I sat there wondering if my irresponsible behaviour had any limits. Within a week, the Atlantic Ocean had broken my cell phone, I missplaced my debit card, and I lost my checkbook. I was pretty much helpless. As I fell deeper in my shame spiral, I took another bite of my Crunchwrap Supreme.

That's when I read the words which changed my life forever: "My Hot Sauce is an honor student at Taco Middle School." That nonsensical statement suddenly put the world in perspective and I decided to get myself together. After all, did Kit quit when she found out that the only reason the Women's Baseball League wanted her was so that they could get Dottie Hinson (Geena Davis) to play too? No, and she scored the winning run in the championship game. So I went straight to the wireless store to get a new phone, and just told them to put it on my next bill.

Then I made a short list of places I might have left my debit card. Aside from my car and bedroom, I definitely noticed a common theme between the other possible locations.. but I'll save that for another story of self-improvement. After a few quick calls on my new cell phone, I found my debit card.

Now, all that was missing for my hat trick was my check book. I don't know about yall, but I rarely write a check. In fact, I always question if I'm filling out the check properly when writing one. I'm usually ok with the 'date' or 'pay to the order of'.. but writing out the amount, that's a bit of a curve ball.

$1,736.58 (no problem)

one thousand seven hundred thirty-six dollars and fifty-eight cents (doh!)

Why bother? I figure if I'm somewhere that doesn't take cash, Mastercard, or Visa.. then chances are they won't be in business much longer anyway. So I just called up the bank, told them I lost my checkbook and if they want to send me a new one then cool.. if not, that's cool too.